Accountability:

I have a little bit of an issue....with self discipline. Basically I spoil myself. 

If I want it...I get it.

If I want to do it...I do it.

If I don't want to do it...I don't do it.

This was my workout dilemma up until recently. I would constantly...and I'm talking for a good couple of months strait...be nagging about:

--how much I hated my body after having the baby

--how I was so tired all the time

--how all I wanted to wear was yoga pants and a t-shirt because it's all I felt good in

--how none of my clothes looked good on me anymore

--how my big ol' breastfeeding boobs literally fit into no bras...anywhere...not even maternity stores (had to special order...that's how big these milk jugs are)

I wasn't gaining weight...I just wasn't losing those last 15 pounds from baby man. I'm sorry but I thought breastfeeding was supposed to make me melt to a smaller size then before I was pregnant???? Someone...everyone...lied to me!

Anyways...three weeks ago I was sick of nagging about myself and decided it was time to start feeling good. ALL I wanted was to feel good about myself again. And be healthy. Baby boy is 5 months now...it's time.

But...since the first 30 days of working out are the hardest...and I'm such a me pleaser...I had to find a way to make myself accountable...literally MAKE myself workout.

So I did this:

Right on my vanity mirror....the place I stand at in the morning, night and sometimes throughout the day...so I could literally stare my progress...or non-progress in the face. 

I'm marking what I do each day and big fatty fat red lines on the days I didn't workout. 

(Except for the squat challenge...I do that every day no matter what!) 

This method holds me completely accountable for what I'm doing. I want to see results...& I'll do whatever I need to to get there! I want to be wearing WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO...not skimming endlessly through my closet just trying to find something I'm comfortable in! The time is now! I'm ready to be the me I want to be! Are you?

Glazed regret

There they are.

Just sitting there.

And they are the one and only type of donut I like...GLAZED!

I swear someone around the office is trying to sabotage my weight loss goal.

This little "gift" of random junk food appears in the office at least once a week to tease me!

One day...I know I will be able to ignore them. 

But until then...this is pretty much how it goes:

I walk in the break room kitchen, 

The "gift" box is taped shut.

I grab what I came in the kitchen for and leave.

I come back a little later,

the box is now open.

I peek inside.

UCK..EW..donuts!

But damn...they look so...glazey.

NO KYLEE...that's like 300 calories you don't need!

Stay on track you fatty!

Well, I could work it off in the gym tonight.

But then that leaves 300 other calories I could burn instead...damn.

I touch one.

I grab it.

Oh well, I'll burn 300 calories just from breast-feeding today.

I eat it.

Shiiiiiit....damnit Kylee...it wasn't even that good!

Moral of this random story? I'm really trying to work on my self control because I always find an excuse to give myself something I really want! However, I know I want this awesome body I'm envisioning MORE....so one day I'll learn! <3